Bake fun.

They're cupcakes !

Josephine we are makin these during our next bakin session. OUR IDEA ! We'll make a "burger cake" for alla our co-workers so we wont havta make another coworker jealous ever again. And then we shall make rocky road brownies. And THEN, we'll make a layered cake and see how many layers we can get to before gettin bored from baking. Ooooooooooohw, i'm so excited !!!!!

I put it on him right, I do it every night.

Taken.

I remember, i used to always do these my junior year in highschool. All. the fuckin. time.

--10 Things You Wish You Could Say to 10 Different People Right Now:
1. You're the best thing, that ever happened to me.
2. You're mentally ill, I swear you are. But i love you.
3. You've got mad swag when you're onda dancefloor
4. You're just a sad pathetic bitch.
5. Say it, dont spray it chief.
6. I love you for who you're not instead of who you are.
7. I swear we're gona make the cutest japanese babies ever.
8. Even though I got sick of you so soon, I fuckin miss you.
9. Ewww bitch, put some makeup on that hideous face ! Maybe it'll do you some good for once.
10. Outta all people, I would tell every chapter of my life to you, just cus.


--9 Things People May Not Know About You:
1. I have a birthmark of a star on my belly.
2. I'm the youngest out of 4.
3. I have almost every race of ASIAN in my family.
4. I hate slimy food [e.g octopus, eel, eggplant]
5. I'm a child at heart wid a babywaby voice
6. I love reading.
7. I love shopping, but i'm the pickiest shopper ever.
8. My hair is really wavy and curly.
9. I used to sing in a church choir in Fairfield when I was little.

--8 Ways To Win Your Heart:
1. Feed me.
2. Cook for me.
3. Go grocery shopping wid me.
4. Give me hugs.
5. Sing to me.
6. Make me laugh when i'm sad.
7. Surprise me when least expected.
8. Take lots and lots of pictures wid me for my lifetime photo album.

--7 Things That Cross Your Mind A Lot:
1. Money
2. My nephews Kyle and Dillon.
3. Baby.
4. Food.
5. Dying
6. "I need to clean..."
7. Sex.

--6 Things You Do Before You Fall Asleep (not in order):
1. Shower or body shower.
2. Get a glass of water.
3. Brush my teeffff.
4. Send Goodnight text msgs to my bestfriends.
5. Set an alarm.
6. Read CNN. com

--5 Characteristics You Value:
1. The way you smile at me.
2. The respect you give.
3. The loyalty we have.
4. The trust we give.
5. The humor in you.

--4 Songs to Describe Your Life:
1. Superstar-Cherish.
2. She got her own- Fab & Neyo.
3. Sexylove- Neyo
4. Dont change- Musiq soulchild.

--3 Things You Wish You Never Did:
1. Given you the best of me.
2. Told you things I didnt mean.
3. Trusted you.

--2 Things You Want to Do Before You Die:
1. Have a family.
2. Earn a million dollars doin absolutely nothing.

--1 Confession:
1. You may not know it, but I deeply and honestly appreciate you.

Lets take it slow...

Okaay, so last wednesday was my last official day as bein a Manager at Old Navy.

...And it felt fuckin great.

Cus then ima get treated like a normal associate or in my case, I'm just a normal cash handler now. Nomore extra expectations. Nomore hearin the problems of the store. Nomore goin an extra mile to help the leadership team just cus someone else didnt finish their fuckin job during their shift. Nomore stressin. Nomore hearin the bitchin from the other leadership members about how someone else is hella slackin and alla that. I needed the break away from it cus there was a point where it got too intense to the point where I stressed so hard, I had to go to the office and cry like a baby for a good 5 min to take it all out. YES, it got that bad. I swear workin in retail is fuckin tough when your store is triena make it to the top. Esp when the district manager is triena help you make it to the top, by givin you hella priorities in a certain amounta hours. All summer, I dedicated my time to helpin out the store to get back on track. But damn, i'm not gona lie. It was a coo experience given to learn the ropes of how it feels to be a boss. I was the youngest Manager tellin people older -and taller- than me what to do and helpin them to get things done. Its all about compromise and support. I swear it is. Well, thas what I learned.

But its funny cus the store manager told me yesterday as I gave her my keys, that she might still be needin my help in doin certain things in leadership still. Cus "she cant rely on anyone like she can towards me" hahaha. Nah its just that she saw someone who worked their ass off for the first time rather than lookin at alla the other lazy ass employees in that building. I swear I went beyond and far for the company. Thas why she referred me to a Service and Training Manager position at another store. She thought I'd be perfect for the position. Seein that my passion was to help customers and train associates. [I loved that shit. I love bein able to pull an associate into my office and lettin them know what they needa improve on and what they needed to do to get there. And the next day after, they improved quick due to my motivational speech. Before, they used to insult the associates, tellin them they NEED to do better. Not me, I'd never downtalk an associate. I motivated hella workers and thas how we got better results when I was a manager. And the store manager was impresssed] BUT, the store manager at the other store felt I was too young and she wanted someone with more experience seein that I was only a manager for three months. Whatever though, her store sucked and didnt have shit on our store at allllll. So for now, ima just stick it out. Ima go back to schoo like I said I would. Ima do what I needa do to get where I wana be.

It just sucked cus I've never been so MIA in my life. I've never been so exhausted from a job or never spent so much time at a job. Even when I had three jobs last summer when I worked at Banana Republic, Footaction and at the Tutoring center. I was still goin out and kickin it almost everynight wid my girls and whatnot. -Weell, I think its cus I live in sac now.

Things have changed.
Change is always good.

No cop, no stop.

I fuckin hate stop signs. Hahahahahah, anyways ! I just got home from josephine's lil kickit thang. It was a coo little kickit, I was takin care of niggas I didnt even know just cus I was triena have these nigga respect my girls house. Shit, I swear the more people drink, the more they dont realize how loud they are. Hahah, at brians party I know I was drunk and I know everyone AND I was hella loud, but then again thas why I was hella regulatin at Brian's party. Its coo though ! We all young bucks so its all G. But anyways, i came home huungry and baby got me some buffalo wings and we headed to the room. And since Bdaddy's playin SFIV i decided to blog to occupy my time before I go to sleep. Hahaha, i love comin home and baby comes to the door, smilin at me wid that face. That face that makes you feel complete comfort. The kinda face that a little boy would give to their mommy when they've been gone for an entire day at work or something. Thas the face brian gives me. And especially his bear hug, MMMMM. *sigh. Baby knows i be hella feelin him, cus this fool be havin hella swag onda inside that he dont show nobody, its just faaa me. Its hella funny though cus I took my bra off--girls, you know you should NOT be wearin bra's when you're at home though. Its bad for you! -- and then I put it on top of his head. I was hella dyyyyin ! It hella made me think about that boob head dude from Little Nicky. Hahahah, hella bomb.


Man though, I had a terrible dream last night. I had a dream that it was our anniversary right and we were goin on an overpass but when we were lookin towards the houses from afar, we hella saw a UFO ! hahahaha, wtfuck. And so we smashed to the house and tried to get whatever we could and whatever we needed out the house. Alla the sudden alla his friends come through and they're tellin us that the aliens are triena take over the world ! Hahahahah. So then for some reason, the only thing I wanted to save [outta alla my possessions] was the pictures that brian and I took. I had it all ina box and for some reason I couldnt find the box for hella long. But when I finally did everyone was hella panicking and was hoppin in cars and shit. But Brian went ina different car and I was ina car wid alla my girls. We smashed and then alla the sudden, we went separate ways and for hella long we lost the other car but we were just triena get the fuck outta the town. And all I remember sayin in my dream was, "Brian's gone, he left me." and then I woke up and was heeeella trippin :( I hella flinched and shit cus I was hella scared from the dream ! But as I woke up, Brian hella turned over and put his arms over me and kissed me. OMG, I was so relieved. I sat up, looked around and layed back down into the arms of the love of my life. I swear, at that moment, I realized no matter what situation i fall into, Brian's there. Supportin me, calmin my nerves, genuinely lovin me and bein my bestfriend, my love, my soulmate, my everything. I'm so damn blessed. Blessin as in, i just got paid about three hours ago. I love direct deposit. Cus then all I gota wait for is that tuesday and then for midnight to hit so when I check my account, I either got three or four digits in my account-- depending on what bills I gota pay hahaha

$,$$$ or $$$ !
Yeah thas right, ya girl got it like THAT.

FYI

“If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away. If he doesn’t want you, nothing can make him stay. Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior. Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache. Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that’s not meant to be. Slower is better. Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy. If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no, you can’t “be friends”. A friend wouldn’t mistreat a friend. Don’t settle. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is. Don’t stay because you think “it will get better.” You’ll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better. The only person you can control in a relationship is you. Avoid men who’ve got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women. He didn’t marry them when he got them pregnant, why would he treat you any differently? Always have your own set of friends separate from his. Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you. If something bothers you, speak up. Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later. You cannot change a man’s behavior. Change comes from within. Don’t EVER make him feel he is more important than you are… even if he has more education or in a better job. Do not make him into a quasi-god. He is a man, nothing more nothing less. Never let a man define who you are. Never borrow someone else’s man. If he cheated with you, he’ll cheat on you. A man will only treat you the way you allow him to treat you. All men are NOT dogs. You should not be the one doing all the bendin, compromise is two way street. You need time to heal between relationships, there is nothing cute about baggage. Deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship. You should never look for someone to complete you, a relationship consists of two whole individuals, look for someone complimentary not supplementary. Dating is fun, even if he doesn’t turn out to be Mr. Right. Make him miss you sometimes, when a man always knows where you are, and you’re always readily available to him - he takes it for granted. Never move into his mother’s house. Never co-sign for a man. Don’t fully commit to a man who doesn’t give you everything that you need. Keep him in your radar but get to know others. They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them and an entire lifetime to forget them.”
-Oprah Winfrey

YOUNG LOVE.

"Since we aint 21. They be triena say it aint love. Cus we cant hit the clubs, they be triena say we're too young. I aint sayin that we're triena be grown. I'm just sayin that we're old enough to know, we got that, young love, young love, we lucky cus we got that young love."

Summer Fallin.

So summer's almost over. AND NO, I'M NOT READY. I mean, yeah I wana go back to schoo. But that just adds another thing on my list thats gona take up more of my time. Spent most of the summer kickin it. I dont find myself gettin into that many thangs like I did last year and the year before. I'm becomin more chill and shit rather than bein the outgoing gal of the pahhhty. And to be completely honest ? I love it. I love that I got shit to do rather than throwin my time away to some stupid function that I prolly didnt even wana go to inda first place. I love that I occupy my time wid time consuming shit thas worth my time. Like, working, sleeping, eating, cleaning, spendin time wid my selected few & gettin PAID$$$. Yeah, life is limited and I should be livin it up, but inda end i'd be happier knowin that I put in more effort in bein successful in life rather than lookin like a drunky or a partygirl. I got my goals and the right mindset so i'm good. But then I know things change and nothings for sure. But, I let god write my lovestory, even if its just some crazy lifestyle. Its a crazy lifestyle that I live to die for.

Really went to Superwalmart while baby was in Vallejo and made him a cuppycake. Well, we tried at least. But its okaaaay ! Next thing on my list, is to make a layered cake :) OR rockyroad brownies. The damn goldfish were supposed to say 22- for 22 months, happy anniversary baby. But josephine left the damn hole inda middle ! hahahahaha, nah its coo tho. It came out legit. And tasted fuckin fabulous. I'm think i'm gettin used to Sac. I'm settled here & realizing that bein out here was best for me rather than bein inda citylife and in the "hype" -fuck the hype btw.

PS- I dont think I'll never get sick of flowers in my favorite color. NEVER. You'll see these at my wedding. Trust that.

Pretty little missile.

So today was my day off. THANK YOU LORD JESUS. And I really didn't do anything. I woke up late, for once ina very long time, and just chilled at home. Rejuvinating myself and refreshin my mind of what was stressin me out for the past few days. I redid my eyebrows, trimmed my hair, got my naaails did and my toesies =) I even dusted my room. WHAT. THE. FUCK. Hahaha !



Majority of the time I was on youtube slappin Erika David's "In my heels" single. Cus the beat and background was cute as fuck. While that was tainted in the background of my day, I did my hair and even slipped in some time to do some online shoppin. OFCOURSE I DIDN'T BUY ANYTHING cus ya girl just paid some bills but when I do got money to throw, I already got my list of needs whenever i do have the chance to take myself ona shopping spree. Which i'm hopin is gona be vewy soon, cus after alla the hardwork i put myself through this summer, i know i deserve it. hardworkin mama, hardworkin at workin hard. hahahaha (: tehehehe.

Baby came home hungry and had a smile fulla romance so I baked him some pizza that we bought at wall-e world [walmart] haha. Josephine calls me and tells me her, marben and loraine were comin through. And damn, its been a minute since I saw loraine. We had hella to update eachother wid though. And maaan, the whole time all you heard was me and her updatin bout hella shit. Talkin to her made me realize how young I am, yet how much I've achieved and been through. Me and her have been through some tough ass situations when we were witto babies in highschoo, ditchin periods to do absolutely nothin and we're so young ! Goodness gracious. What is the world comin to ? She told me bout her marriage life and damn, it made me realize how happy I am to be wid brian who genuinely loves me for who I am. AGAIN, THANK YOU LORD JESUS. I'm blessed. Which is why im not stressed, for now. Im relieved at the moment and just waitin for anotha challenge to face. BECAUSE I KNOW I CAN GET THROUGH IT.

"Fall down 7 times,
get back up 8."
PS- I love latenight 3am talks. Thas the bidniz.