:(

stressed. emo. upset. annoying. betrayed. neglected.

Prayin ...

charwifey says it seems like i blog everyday, so i'm bloggin right now. at 1230am, for HER. hahahah ;) but anyways ! read her shit, charbeezy.blogspot.com -- Wifey, iss no question, you already know its automatic for me to be there for you when you need me gruhhh ! you know how i somehow got the wisdom that i have to make sure i tell my girls exactly what they need to know [not WANT TO KNOW] for the sake of the better. hahahaha. hella corny. but shit, yalready know mamas. fuck what anybody says, fuck how anyone feels, YOU DO YOU. and dont ever let anyone make you feel less than what you are cus that's their way of triena make themselves sound ona higher level, but pshhh i mean ... WE STAY UPGRADIN ON THESE MUTHAFUCKAS. how could they be ona higher level when they got our names droolin out they mouths. even at our lowest point in life, we still top notch girl ! my ride or die girl maaan. my patna in crime, foreaaals. bitch we regulate niggas together on a constant note. hahahaha. esp at hazels function. BUT ! Lets not get into that. hahaha.
I LOVE MY WIFEY CHARLENE BANZON, OFFTOP !

without doubt, without question.

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please lord, please find a cure for this swine flu man ! tell me why i just learned about it today ! -- thanks to bestfriend-- readin about it on cnn.com freaked me out. hella made me wana cash out on hand sanitizer plus the wipes AND the face masks. i'm not even sick, but i still wana get tested. it is really no joke. and it scares me to think of how easily its been spreading. NOT COOOOO. i got so freaked out, if you got textes or IMs from me about it, iss cus i care man ! i dont wana see anyone i know havta go through that kinda problem. its hella devastating. i'm prayin that they find a way to cure it tho. cus people are freaked out about it and so am i. hmmm, on a better note tho ! gueess who's gettin this pretty baby tomorrow ...ahhhhhhhhhh ! meeeeeeeee ! hahahaha. well oookaay, thas some picture i got off google, but myy nigga. its the exact dup of what mines looks like. no more drivin mommys car ? nomore waiting for moms to come home to gets places ? ahhhh shit. MINE. finally man. final. ly.

kuya gave me that call that i've been waiting for alllll week that i'm gettin the cahh tomorrow. though i got work tomorrow he's gona be givin it to me after, i suppose. he's paying for the car for me (: BUT ! i'm payin him back in payments. damn man, I LOVE MY BROTHER ! on everything man. he knows how hard i try and how much effort i put into triena get started on my own two size 5 ina half feet. but god knows i've been patient for this for so long now. and i'm guessin he's tellin me i'm ready and givin me a blessin. bill$. bill$. bill$. dzamn man, i have no otha choice now =/ but, im hoping it'll all pay off in the long run. work hard, play harder. right ?

but why am i feelin like ima be workin so damn hard, i prolly wont have any energy to plaay. dedication man. i live it, speak it, breath, eat, sleep -- DEDICATION.

Brian, I think God made you...

exactly for me. so yesterday, after i got off work, i went home and realized how my mom hasnt been to work in three weeks. and so i'm thinkin to myself what the fuck is goin on !? i swear, shes becomin lazy and gettin so caught up with her "friends" and alla these other OLD elders triena party like us YOUNG ones. and i know, its gona come down to me havina pay bills, AGAIN. i'm so sicka this shit maan. alla these financial problems always come from my mom. and its like my kuya tells me alla time to stop relying on my mom but its like, she's not givin me any place to start doin shit on my own. i'm been financially doin things on my own ever since I was 16, i repeat, SIXTEEN years old. and supporting my mom and payin HER bills, is gettin real old. and i had a meltdown last night :( cus its like, i'm sick and tired of my mom doin shit like this. its like, she gave up bein a REAL mom ever since her and my dad got divorced, which was when I was only 2 years old. And it seems like my dad stopped bein a REAL dad ever since he got remarried to that bloodsucking bitch that he's STILL with now. it makes me upset to think of how my dad did me and my brothers but i blame it all on the bitch he got married to. I have ZERO respect for her due to the fact that she manipulated my dads mind to no longer care about his kids. when in the beginning, we were his EVERYTHING. he pushed alla his kids away based on what his "new wife" thought cus all that mattered to her was HER daughter. UGHHHHHHHHH. anyways. its okaay tho, cus alla the love, support, guidance and everything that i've ever needed came into life form through brian.

during my meltdown last night, he came through cus he always does when he comes back from vallejo and so he knew about how i was stressin over my mom and alla that other shit. but as he was leaving, i heeeella broke down. which leaded to him packin MY things and taking me to his house cus he knew how i didnt wana be home alone with so much on my mind cus I knew bein alone was just gona drive me craaazy. when it comes to me thinkin of how broken my family is- it breaks me to pieces cus it feels like my brother and i are the only ones that care. i hate that we've ended up this way but right now, MY MOM IS JUST MAKIN SHIT WORSE. and last night it really made me realize how i need to stop kidding around and get back to focus. i'm 19 years old. this is ridiculous. my mom constantly stresses me out with the dumb things she does and how ruthless she feels about life. mothers are supposed to be role models, heros, the guidance. but my mom is the total opposite. and so that leaves me ... with nothing.

so people ask why i work so damn hard ? thats my reason. cus at the enda the day, i feel satisfied knowin i'm bustin my ass at work, school and in my relationship wid brian to make sure i'm nothing like my parents.

I HATE ...

STRESSING ! :(

Gingersnaps.

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Im really not a fan of hot weather. Im the best in complainin when it comes to heat. I hate the feeling. Everything about it. Hahaha. Those couple days of heat was even worse for me cus I got hella sick wid the stomach flu. Which was fucked up cus at work they still wanted me to come in. I fucked wid the fittin room shift since the fittin room is near the bathrooms. Just in case yehnnoe. Hahah. I felt the worst pain tho, the stomach flu is NOT the bidniz. Or maybe I was just unfortunate to have the symptoms I had cus it got so bad to where I had to go to the hospital. But im goood now. Thank god.

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Thursday night I went to red robin in Rancho cordova wid baby and his coworkers for his coworkers birthday. It was cooooo. I wasn't really that hungry so I fucked wid the caesar salad and clam chowdaaaa =) damn im hella cravin clam chowder in sf right nowwww. Hmph. But anyways...

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Maaan, yesterday when I went to work, I seen pico's bitchass nametag on my locker and was like, "what the fuck is this !?" hahaha. Wthhh, who does this nigga think he is ?! Hahah, but maaayn, im startin to haate goina work. But then iss gon suck cus when my brother gives me that car ima havta work more cus Im gon have ANOTHER bill to worry about. Iss good tho. I guess.

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Last night on our way to leannes, baby and I were triena see how fast his car could go, he went up to like 115 and then slowed down but I couldn't catch the picture. Haha, last night was coo tho. Went to the telly in fairfield but got kicked out cus there were hella heads up in that bitch. So we fucked wid walmart and latenight jackindabox (: we met everyone up at leannes but didn't stay long. Fuckin kaz got the jaguar tho ? A bitch car !? Hahahah. Nah that shit was dumbass legit tho. hellllaaaa nice.

After we went to baby's house.
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Poor baby said I kept elbowing him while we were sleeping. But shit I can't help it if its his small ass bed ! Haha. I slept good tho (: hahah. We had to wake up early to meet up moms in fairfield cus I got work at 1130. So we on our waay. Damn tho, its the enda april already !? I coulda sworn it was just april fools. Issall good cus that means that pretty soon, summers gona be heeeere (: ayyyye.

Without cover.

i'm not even gon go into all the specifics of what i've been doin lately, cus honestly, i dont remember nothin else BUT bein sick, goin to the hospital and bein wid baby and my nephew.

to my loyal blogreaders, my bad for not bein able to update. i was hella sick. not just hella sick, but HELLLLAAAAAAA SICK. i think thas the worst i've ever been sick in my life. and on top of that, i felt the worst pain eveeeer. but yehnnoe, baby still took care of mama =) mmm ! i love my man. anyways, i hate the damn hospitals tho. stupid bitches had me wait the first time. but inda end, it came down to the stomach flu and dehydration. i guess they triena tell me i dont drink enough italian sodas and jamba juice ? awwwww shit. they bouta max out my damn card then cus i already swipe my shit so damn much. issall good tho. i've been spendin hella time wid my nephew tho. i swear i love that spoiled brat. you wana talk about spoiled ? MY NEPHEW IS FUCKIN SPOILED. so spoiled i wana strangle him sometimes but i dont cus i love him so damn much. hahahahah.

anyways, tonight baby invited me to his coworker's dinner thingy at chevys ? red lobster ? i forgot. one of those. so i guess i'll be attendin dinner wid a whole bunch of people that i dont even know -_- but i cant wait til the weeekend ! for the first time i'm not closing at work =) i gets off earlieeer than usual. so you know what that means ! hahahaha. ohh and sunsplash on wednesday ? wid my girlies ? ahh shiet. and i cashed out on more than a few summer dress. BRING THE HEAT BABY, cus i CAN be inda kitchen and in yo griiill biaaaaatch ! =) i'm too lazy to think of some other stupid ass shit to tell you guys so I guess you'll have to wait til the next post cus hopefully it'll be more interesting than this one. hahahah. toodles !

PS- I miss you too wifey.

My definition of family.

Its hard to define that when it comes to my family. I never had that feeling of actually havin a family. I mean, I have a dad and a mom and three brothers. But my parents can't ever live up to their title. I never had moral, financial, family type support from my parents. I swear they gave up on bein "parents" after they got divorced. I've been havin to do everything on my own ever since I was 14 years old. Learned my own morals the hard way. Went to church on my own insteada havin the kinda parents that drag you to church yehnnoe. It sucks. But I thank god for every single day given to me, its like another chance each day yehnnoe. But somehow I get thru it. I swear people my age got it made for them, but they take life for granted. But me ? I put in full shifts at work just to get by. But iss okaay, I know after college, ima live good. With some damn decency at least.

BUT, I swear I thank god everyday for Brian Scott Smith. Its like god designed him, just for me. Cus when I have nothin else to turn too, he's right there, givin me 100% support, 100% love and 100% growth. We have our times. But its cus we both have the kinda patience and communication to get through. When im sick to my stomach [like today] baby brings the best remedy to make me better. And thas love.

The life of a beautiful complication ... and it just continues.

"WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE" Tyler Perry's-Not easily broken.

If i had one wish...

We would be bestfriends ? Nahhht, actually it'd be for me to have one more fuckin week of spring break. But maaaan, check this. After gettin the tires fixed we realized the annoying ass sound isn't from the wheels, its NOT my breaks, its my alignment. What. the. flyyyyyin. shit. Aint that bouta bitch tho. Cashed out for nothin. Next time my mommy pays. AND THEN I found out I can't even file my damn taxes cus my mom claimed me. And if she didn't I'd prolly get like $600 back. Damn it. Can I be unclaimed for once !? Hah. Shiiiit. How inconvenient for my extraordinary life. Thas some fucked up ass shit.

Schooo is so gay maan. And I feel like im slackin although I already got my A's in alla my classes. Doooin too much. I need do some damn time management. *sighhhhhh. Anywaaays, monday my brother had a family party. Like always, cus I guess HIS brother-in-law caught a big ass fish. So them bein vietnamese, they celebrated ahaha. Nah iunoo, it was crackin tho. We went to the store and cashed out on food for my brother's half of his family and seen this

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It was damnear as tall as me ! And I'm 5 feet tall !

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I love vietnamese food. Baby came through too and plaayed SFIV, ofcourse, wid my brother and them.

Tuesday, afterschoo I fucked wid the crepes escape and got the strawberry nutella (; MMMMMmmmmMm. And then I went home and did hella homework cus my life sucks and I gota do shit like that. Hahahah, im kidding.

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wednesday: I had work inda morning. It took me hella long to realize it was payday =) but youuu know I wasn't mad. Went to the mall wid brian and then swooped my nephew to spend some time wid him :) took babyboy to the duckpond and he hella enjoyed it. and then we went to the supeerwalmart in natomas and literally went through every damn isle. hahahaha. spoiled my nephew wid a new fit. plain hoodies, thug shorts and long tees. hahahahah. im sucha good auntie to him. tho i might be an auntie to another junior, hahahah. dzaaamn my bruh really aint playin. he loves bein a dad. hahah. brian was geettin hella into it too. "i cant drive to fast, we gota baby on board" hahaha. i think brian would be one of those scared fathers and would treat our kid like a fragile box. hahahahaha. he'll get used to it when the time is right. again, NOT TIL THE TIME IS RIGHT. that night i didnt even go to sleep til like 4am :( cus i had to wait for my brother to swoop my nephew. so you already know i was inda worst mood at schoo.

after schoo yesterday, i went back to my brothers house and swooped my nephew again. and i've been wid him ever since. hahah. i feel like im playin house. hahah, except daddytype is always at schoo or work [brian]

ughhh i hate arguin about females to him. i try so damn hard to not say shit but when i keep shit in, it blows up sooner or later. i DO NOT wana get into that cus i'll prolly end up upset again. but fact of the lifetime: I HATE BITCHES, BUT I LOVE MINE. til next time :)


Song of the week: Lets play house- RayJ.

Sunshine.

I musta had the longest weekend in my whole entire life. But shit yalready know I was not trippin cus ya girl stay on her priority hype doin everythang to keep her income legit. Thursday, me and my citythangs, baby and my davis babies went to empire for the club. And lemmee just say, it was a pretty coo hype. Considering the fact that I could tell my man had a good ass time, normally he just looks like he's there cus of me, but he was a dancin and lookin all cute. MY BAAAD. Haha. Tho it was fuckin raainin and shit. Ughhh. Haha

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Cluuuuub circus @ Empire in Sac, CA.

After the club, baby took me home cus we lost the girls and so I redid my haair and shit til the girls came to swoop me again. The girls and I went to the Embassy Suites and met up at they lil tellys they had.
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Me and the girls got hungry as fuck and then drove to Natomas to cop on the latenight jack inda crack. Tell me why these niggas tried knockin on our window askin us to hurry up, the fuck. I shoulda slapped that boy stupid cus he musta been on somethin. But anywaaaays, the girls slept at my house and woke up to brians goodmorning call and laughin bout stories of the night before. Haha.

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We woke up hungry again so we got dressed and went to Arden to have a late lunch inda food court. Went shoppin a lil bit @ f21 and Mac for my lippies. And then hazel got her haair did. So I waited wid her while Char and Chey went to go galavant around the mall. Ahaha.

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Me and Char @ F21 @ Arden.

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After three hours of waitin for this bitch to get her cuteass peek-a-boo hair color, me and the girls got hungry AGAIN and fucked wid the wingstop and got the 10wing combo.

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The girls dropped me off and then got swooped again from baby and met up wid leanne, edrick, joel and rick @ jackson. Joey and his boys were there too which was good cus brian finally got to see his boys. Leanne was the only one that came up on cashmoneys which was good cus she had me to call out for her on what to do and which thangs to choose. Hahaha, around 2ish we left after eating on some good ass pho.

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@ Jackson.

Saturday, I didn't even wake up til like 4ish and it felt daaaamn good to finally be able to sleep in. I be over exhausted doin alla this shit man. I really can't function wid 4 hours of sleep. I took a hotass shower for a good 30 min, mmmm ! Haha. After baby got off work, he came thru and swooped me again and I was out again.

We took the drive to Hiddenbrooke and went to Tracy's birthday pahhhty. Which was lightweight crackin cus I took a good three shots of Vodka along wid some mixer and some lemon smothered in brown sugar. Hahahaha. The haaaiiil. Nah it was legit tho. Chilled wid brians fellow pboy and alla this friends which was cooo.

The party thaang ended around 1am hah, and so we headed over to nickstophers house. While the boys talked about jackson and SFIV while smokin I hopped on the speed card game and it was done ! Ahaha. Mmm, around 4ish inda morning I went to jbabys house. Hahah.

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I miss her old house tho. Hmph ! Woke up around 11ish wid like 5 hours of sleep ! Hmph. Went to church for eaaster wid her family and then to eat pho and then to starbucks and got my italian soda =) her moms always be hookin it up wid the keys to the Altima and so we went to Country creamery where I fucked wid the Maui Serbert =) then to Tapioca Express and got the Monster Icy. Jeeeeez. Hahaha, I can't help it if I love food tho or drinks at that ! <3333

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Baby came to swoop his fav. girl and then headed to Fairfield to spend time wid his moms and grandma. Everytime I see his grandma she always has this big smile on her face. I love heer ! His moms came and we went to foodmax and then to Mikos for some sushi and I fucked wid the Lion king roll. After that, me and baby washed his car together, we sooo cute =) teheh. Around 8ish we headed back to sacramento where my spring break was declared to officially be over :( back to school. back to my money. back to the busylife.

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ANYWAAAAYS, im so exhausted and got hella shit to do today, again. I'll update more later and post up more pictures. The true life of Khristine Gee and the story never ends.

Life's a circus.

Tuesdaaay: I chilled at home, ran some errands, and stopped by my brothers house. But what was so interesting was SOME SILLY ASS bitch callin me ona blocked number, moanin and shit. The fuck bitch. For 1: I aint gaay. 2: you sounded like a dumbass hoe. Talkin bout "yeah thas why your man likes it" and "my name is april smith" hahahahahah. The fuck bitch. Im sorry but this aint disneyland bitch, you're wishes don't come true here. It lightweight gave me a laugh but baby knoooows he LOVES what he got and told me I aint neva gota worry cus ima always be his one and only girl. Shiiiiit. Prank calls tho ? Really ? I aint had nobody do that shit since fuckin highschoo. Who does that ? *ahem, these little bitchmade hoes ofcourse ! =) anywhooooo.

Wednesdeee: I was at work and I looked at the days schedule and seen that my nigga cupid works wid me now ! [Peco] hahaha. Hella random ass shit but iss good. Afterwork, I went to target and bought my big and sexy haaairspray. Mmm, and then bought some crest whitestrips. Thought I'd give em a try. NOTE: No I do not smoke but teeth can get yellow from junk food, coffee and soda. Jeez. Hahaha

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Smashed home and realized my mommy didn't have work but we did havta do hella shit yesterday. Got the tires fixed, got the car washed and vacuumed. Went to this car insurance place, got my naails did. Went to arden to get my fit at f21 for tonight =) went to arigatos in sac, MMMM. Went to swoop presales from francis since corey was beina biiiieeetttch. Hahah, issall good. Ima support my niggas for tonight. Mmm, and then after me and moms to seafood city, in sac !? Ahah, yes it does exist out here. Hahahah.

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Baby called me when he got off work and then came through to come swoop me =) I whooped him playin a round of speed in cards. Haha, nah it was even. I love sleepin wid him, I woke up and he was on my side of the bed triena take over ! It was cute. But then daaaamn I need space when I sleep damnit ! Hahah. Jk baby.

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But tonight ? Catch me at empire wid my girls. Tonic live launch party. $10 presales, $15 at the door. Dresscode enforced for dudes. Bitches can "go buttnaked and still get in" as my nigga francis would saay. Hahah Downtown sac on R street. Called the circus, so I guess I'll see you clown ass bitches theeere ! Toodles =)

Extravagant.

Let me try to remember ...

Thursday: class was hella gay. I didnt even havta go to my damn first class. But then i still had to go to my lab and then my careers class. wait, nah even in my careers class we didnt even do shit ! so the whole day i was inda maclab readin up about hella research and shit for my project. WHY I GOT HOMEWORK FOR SPRING BREAK. thas some fucked up ass shit. but whatevs. schoo was hella gay. and nobody was there cus THEY WAS SMART and started their spring break early. hahah, fuck.

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but tell me why when i was walkin to my 1pm class, there was this THUG ass nigga wearina TOTE BAG. [as pictured above] hahahaha. what the fuck. that shit was hella random and so i was hella laughin triena get a decent picture of this wierd ass dude.

FRIDAY: I went to work :( hahaha. as always. baby came to visit me and work during my lunch and bought me wingstop and flowers :) he had work too later on that day so when i got off work we werent gona be able to chill sooo, yeah.

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but then right after work i went home and was triena figure out how the fuck i was gona finish his card cus then i added picture and shit to it AND THEN i wanted to add more, so what was i gona do, make another card ? hell nah. I made that shit like a book. hahaha ... kinda. iss cute tho. ANYWAYS. After baby got off work, we wenta davis cus then my babygirls monica and melissa had a party.

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and let me just say, that night consisted of 151, bacardi, captain morgan and some otha shit. which ended in, digested pasta and whatever the fuck else they ate on the floor, on the couch and made trails and trails everywhere. GROSS ! hahaha, nah it was a coo ass night tho. hella bad cus im sucha lightweight that i was gone after 4 shots. terrible ! i used to be able to drink 18 shots. but naht nomore ! hahaha. issall good tho. that night was hella chill. baby and i didnt end up leavin til like 4am cus then he had work and i had work. woke up at like 8ish and he took me home.

SATURDAY: work was so gaaay. i had to work that 1-10. fml. but whatevaaaaa. that night i went to davis and chilled wid maaah babygirls and bestfriend. we watched seven pounds which btw is a crackin ass movie. iun give a fuck what nobody say, my nigga will smith is the shit.

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we was chillin inda dorm lounge and then alla the sudden we see the firefighters comin in, triena open the damn elevator and HELLA heads came out. i was like, ahh hell nah. i would NOT wana get stuck ina damn elevator for hella long waitin for someone to get me the fuck out. i would scream so damn loud so the damn elevator system would somehow get sick of me and just bust that shit open on iss own gahdamn self. HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA. nah but anyways ! after we wenta jackindacrack and got they crackin ass tacos and went to cuarto to watch wall-e and make facebook videos. hahaha. i love my bestfriend ! hmm, the next morning denny took me home.

SUNDAY: yesterday i had work from 12-630 and then after i went to my brothers house cus they was havina BBQ at his house, ona sunday !? for what you ask ? FOR NO DAMN REASON. just cus they felt like it. hahaha, i guess. iss coo tho cus the food was hella crackin. i love for the fact that my brother married a vietnamese woman cus their food is hella good. hahaha. baby came and my brother was playin streetfighter IV. therefore, YOU KNOWWW they was on that shit together. damnit. hahaha. nah and then baby put it on trainin mode and my nephew thought he was playin, gettin all excited, jumpin around and shit.

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TODAY: i had work this mornin from 830am-115 and then smashed to my house cus baby and i had to go to davis for his friend TJ's birthday lunch at fujis. after we went to the memorial union and then met up wid lauren, monica and susie. after baby and his friends were done, we headed to monicas dorm and was cuttin it up in her dorm room, hahahaha. nah it was coo tho. we just chilled and talked that girltalk, yehnnoe the usual. then we fucked wid the walk towards the little shopping plaza. it was lightweight hot today. tell me why i was wearin black jeans and a white tee and so my bottom half was hot but my upper half was cooo. hahaha, the fuck !

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went to dinner at the DC at 7pm and was there for hella long, talkin about friday night and how everyone was fucked in the ass fucked up ! baby got a call bout some trouble at his house so we had to leave and stopped by safeway in davis cus i had to geta money order for my bills. and their CUSTOMER SERVICE SUCKS ASS ! stupid ass bitches took forever and they shit is NOT crackin. how you not gon have good customer service AT THE customer service desk. the fuck. i shoulda burnt their damn store down. hahahahahaha. but after that, i had to drop that off and then smashed babys house.

the scariest shit happened tho ! we exited from the freeway and then this bigass big rig tried turnin ona yellow light and so brians car was in the right lane. and then the fuckin big asssssss thing WAS SO DAMN CLOSE to brians car, i was so fuckin scaaared cus i really thought that shit was gona hit brians car. stupid ass truck drivers. GET OFF THEM DRUGS ! >:[ fjhfjklsdhgjksdhfkhgjka. oh yeah, so our spring break LA trip is cancelled in which im highly upset cus i've been plannin to really do that shit since like a month or two ago. but iss whateveer cus ima get myself pampered, cash out ona shoppin spree and make it rain at the spa and get my massage, naails did and toesies did. hahaha, fucks wid iiiit. cus i know after alla my hardwork i deserve to spoil myself wid somethin nice.

spring break tho.. damn. issall good i guess cus cuddies are plannin on goina stinson beach and santa cruz in which im bouta fucks wid that cus all i wana do is see some damn water for once, insteada boring ass land ! hahaha. but maaan iss only monday. the start of my spring break. lord only knows what he got in store for me this week =)

summertime tho, issall bad. iun give a flying fuck. im goin somewhere extravagant. and i put that on moms.