Dear blogspot,
Please don't be upset. I'm not leaving, I'm just transferring. I'm transferrin to tumblr. To expand my blog world, to share my thoughts to a whole new network world and to grow my thoughts through a different world. I will never leave you blogspot. You hold my past, my history, my happiness, my weaknesses and my chemistry. I honestly thought it would be hard for me to make the transition. But something inside of me gave me to strength to proceed and move on somehow. And it was within you ofcourse ! I will love and cherish you forever and I appreciate everything you've done for me. I will come back and visit to laugh, smile or even cry at the previous moments we've had together. Don't worry, I'm just another link away.
Khristinegee.tumblr.com
Love always,
Khristine G. Behney <3
LOML <3333
Cant no other teddy bear shit on my Loubear. No matter what we go through, this is what always keeps us together. For some strange reason, outta alla the teddy bears that were given to me in my lifetime, no other teddybear could mean more to me than my Loubear. When we argue, Loubear always reminds us of what we've been through together, the love we've created and the history of something rare that we got.
Loubear never leaves me. He's stuck wid me. Like the old blanket a little girl cant get rid of even when she grows up to be 20 years old. Its still somewhere in her house. Something that means that much cant ever be cut outta her life. For me, its my teddybear Loubear.
I remember when I first got the bear. It was when Baby and I were still just dating, summer of 07. And we wanted to see eachother hella bad so we went to Discovery Kingdom -_- cus i'd always get all of us in for free. And we were walkin around, goin on rides, eating coldstone and just havina good time, two summers ago. Baby and I played the basketball game. And I whooped him, ofcourse. So we walked on over to some booth where you gota put the three humongous baseballs into the tilted basket. And if you get all three in, you get a prize. Baby only got two in :) and I still had the choice of gettin aprize, either this tanned-colored teddy bear with a red bow on his neck. OR the white teddy bear wid a pillow that it was holding and it said "I love you" I was so indecisive and just kept tellin Brian I didnt wana teddy bear and to give it to his mommy. So i walked off triena make it seem like we should go somewhere else and he run backs to me giving me the white teddy with the pillow sayin, "I LOVE YOU" :) it was fuckin cute. he kissed me on my forehead and we continued our day. Ofcourse at this time, we were still inda beginning of our relationship. We werent together, we didnt love eachother yet, and we didnt even kiss or anything yet, ME BEIN THE GOODGIRL THAT I AM. But we still felt something so surreal in the beginning. When we're together, everything else just makes sense.
I feel like a little girl triena explain her favorite stuffed animal. BUT, shit. I love Brian to the fullest. My baby got me like no other. Got me happy and loves me genuinely, even at my worst. Who else can say that for themselves ?
"Falling in love is a bit like falling asleep. The harder you try to drift into sleep, the more impossible the notion seems. But when you let go… pushing all thoughts of what you attend to accomplish with your face in the pillow and your limbs resting at your side—only then does sleep seem to come. You know when it’s beginning to wrap itself around you; the feeling is unmistakeable and quite beautiful. Still, if you become too aware of the feeling, it disappears completely and you’re back to where you started. The trick is to be aware of it… just enough to enjoy it and still let it take over without trying to interfere or speed it up.
When we try to force it or make it happen on our own terms, it never goes the way we’d like it to. When thoughts of love are all that fill our mind, the actual thing has a way of avoiding us like the plague. But when our hearts are falling into that strange sensation which no one quite understands, we will know it. We will be able to tell. The trick is to enjoy it, but still keep a good distance. Let it happen as it will unfold, and not how you would prefer it to unfold. Love doesn’t seem to like it much when we step into its affairs.
Just don’t sleep on love."
When we try to force it or make it happen on our own terms, it never goes the way we’d like it to. When thoughts of love are all that fill our mind, the actual thing has a way of avoiding us like the plague. But when our hearts are falling into that strange sensation which no one quite understands, we will know it. We will be able to tell. The trick is to enjoy it, but still keep a good distance. Let it happen as it will unfold, and not how you would prefer it to unfold. Love doesn’t seem to like it much when we step into its affairs.
Just don’t sleep on love."
True lies. This is for you boys.
To all men: If a girl doesn't trust you, doesn't have faith in your relationship, or is over protective in everything you do, then leave her. Yeah you deserve better. But if you guys constantly argue over little things, about who gets to eat the last chicken wing on the plate or who gets to use the remote this time to change the channel, AND THEN YOU CHEAT ON HER ?! Then that just makes you a coward. A boy, not a man, that is afraid to face the true facts on love. Women don't deserve to be cheated on. With as hard as we love, we deserve some decency to be treated like queens. Someone who doesn't even have to think twice. A sure thing. Be the man at the altar that can honestly say you love your woman without havin to think of alla 5+ women you "coulda, woulda" had something with. Never be the man who lost his value by sharing your "goodies" with numbers of women. A true wifey type chick doesn't deserve that. A woman with high-value and especially with a good quality of love and good quantity of understanding deserves a gentleman. A true man. Don't be the man that leaves a woman because you met some downgrade and then sees her ten years later, more happy than ever. Which makes you begin to wonder, what if ? Though it may seem rough and shaky at times, you grow stronger by being able to accomplish obstacles that have to do with love. Be the man that appreciates a real woman. Be proud of what you got. And feel blessed with the woman God blessed you with. In the end, when the two of you are old, grown, durin your 50th wedding anniversary and talkin about when you guys were together at such a young age and you've gotten this far ? You'll start a rare generation. Fight for that generation. Fight for a love so true.
Fall semester 09
I cant wait to start school. I'm lookin at my classes right now and lookin up the books that go with the class and they look fuckin spiffy ! Schoo starts in like 9 days and i havent even gone shoppin to do shit. I NEED TO, wahhh ! I needa sign up for the school's financial aid they got. I need to buy my books too. Expensive as they are. Alla my classes are on tues/thurs:
YAAAAAAAAAAY, i'm juiced. 12units. I'm coo wid that. I heard my teachers are pretty hard too, though I cant find them on ratemyprofessor.com thoughhhh. Challenge ?
Bitch, I'm more than ready.
- MATH103- Deborah Bryant 9:00-10:20am
- BREAK FOR A FEW HOURS :)
- SOC300- Nicholas Miller 1:00pm-2:20pm
- ENGWR 100- Sally-Anne Jackson. 2:30-3:50
YAAAAAAAAAAY, i'm juiced. 12units. I'm coo wid that. I heard my teachers are pretty hard too, though I cant find them on ratemyprofessor.com thoughhhh. Challenge ?
Bitch, I'm more than ready.
“ Love is never tired of waiting. Love is kind, has no envy, nor a high opinion of itself. Love has no pride nor takes no thought for itself. It is not angered quickly nor slow, and keeps no accounts of wrong. It takes no pleasure in wrongdoing, but has joy in all things. Love has the power of undergoing all things, having faith and hoping in all things. Love is not a rational, predetermined action and though a prophet’s word may come to an end, tongues come to nothing and knowledge have no more value… because love has no end. "
To sum it all up.
I went to work on Monday when I took this picture and isnt it cute how Josephine always leaves me love notes on my locker. Hahaha, feels like highschoo. But i'm .. not ... in highschool. Hahahaha, she loves me so much and just cant fight the feeling !!!!
Free comic books at Old navy when you buy a Marvel tee. We gota constantly wear these things on our lanyards now. Shit be irritatin me cus when i'm triena take a security tags off at the registers, the magnetic thing always pulls these damn buttons from my lanyard.
Who do you know that has a jump house IN THEIR house ? MY FUCKIN BROTHER. Hahahah, on tuesday josephine and I went to my kuyas house cus my mommy cooked me food and wanted me to come over. And we were gona jump in it, but the air thingy that blows it up was too loud and my nephew was sleeping. WAAHHH.
Ordered the Mcgangbang. And then tried to go to the gym after. BUT WE FAILED. Its all G. The Mcgangbang is fuckin bomb. Who ever was too hungry and coulnt order the Mcchicken and the Double Cheeseburger separately, you is one smartass nigga ! Sad thing is, its hella fattening !
Instead we went to Aj's house and fixed up Beau's room as a surprise. Fixed it up, re-arranged everything and made it feel like home for him since he's gona be movin to sac, TO BE WID US ! An additional to our SACfamily. Isnt that fuckin swell. So, when he walks into his room, he's gona find me and josephine's welcome note. WE IS CUTE.
SACfamily. School, work and all we have is eachother.
Wednesday, after work. Jo was hungry so we took our fatasses to BJs. We hesitated at first cus we got off work at 10 and they were gona close at 11pm. We went in at 10:50 and good thing they still sat us down, I woulda been pissed ! But it was all G.
Thursday. The best day off work.
- Went to Vallejo.
- Seen Charwifey & seen bestfriend Danteezy at his work.
- Met up wid bestfriend Dale Tu.
- Met up wid OG khea.
- Went to happy hour at Chevys and got some bomb ass chicken wings.
- Visited Jeraboo.
- Bestfriend did a quick photoshoot for me and josephine.
- Visited Bestfriend Juice. And did a little collab wid her little brother who's hella bomb at playin the acoustic btw !
- Went to go chill wid my fav. Vallejo boys
Didnt even get home til like 330am. And baby was still awake waiting for me. Awwwww, my baaabydaddy is so fuckin cute. I love my man on everything I gots ! Came home and did me nails. Tried something different. And I ended up gettin hella compliments at work. I swear people analyze hella shit about me at work. I cant change on thing without them noticing. Goodness ! GIVE ME A BREAK !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Today I woke up at 1pm. Got dressed for work and started at 3-10pm. I came home early for once besides goin to chill wid my Josiebaby and AJ, hoping that we'd finally spend time together for once insteada me comin home late, gettin ready for bed and then goin to sleep. BUT ! This fool is playin streetfighter -_- NOW ! I'm gona go wrestle his ass in bed cus he's gona stop playin to cuddle wid me, watch. Hahah, goodnight !
The pain about honesty.
To be completely honest, guys DO NOT wana be wid an over-dramatic woman. Someone who's hella clingy, vulnerable, too "willing" or too "available" to what they want or what they need from you. Some ask why he doesn't like you anymore, right girls ? Its cus the way your present yourself. Overloving. Too caring. Blowin up his phone askin the same questions every 5 minutes. Not trusting. The pain you show makes them feel like, in order to get you back they havta stoop down and show emotion. See, the thing is ... as much as they try for us women, men do NOT like showin emotion. It makes them feel less like a man when they havta show any kinda affection to a girl that's "on their nuts" as they call it because they feel love is over-rated and they have this mindstate that always reminds them of how young they are and how much they got in fronta them inda future. Bein young, if its easy for them to get back to you whenever its convenient for them, they won't want it. They'll toss it back and look for something they can work for. Or in other words, a love to work for. Not a love thas given to them.
Truuuust me, I GREW UP WID THREE BROTHERS. I think thas why I've grown my emotional maturity while I was still young cus I've seen my kuyas go through tons and tons of "girl/friend" drama and I've seen how they act. I grew up bein close to my brothers. And the thing is, girls never like the truth. As much as they make it seem like they 'need' the truth, we as women like to sugarcoat shit to at least just get through the day. They find out the unbelievable, harsh truth but yet they still pass through their comfort zone to impress. Impress why ? To have the love they once had back into their life. Put a fake smile but inda end they're eyes show how depressed or desperate they are to the opposite sex.
Its THAT readable.
Men strive away from women like that cus they have an ego so huge, they'd rather be happy wid someone else rather than be sad and downgrade themselves to make YOU happy. Thas why they always say, "Noone can make you happy other than yourself." Which is how it should be. You have no idea how true that line is. Never rely on anyone but yourself to put that smile on your face. Go back and remind yourself of the independent, outgoing woman that you were when you two first met. Get back to that and give someone else a chance. But only when you feel the time is right. Not a man who's gota girl on the sideline. Not a man who's gona dip in and outta the picture cus of his "double-standard" life. If you ever come across a man that leaves a girl to be with you, bestbelieve he'll do the same damn thing to you. He'll either be thinkin to leave you alla time or he'll end up doin what he can without you knowing. MEN BE FUCKIN SLICK ! But us as women, just gota be smart about alla that. But when we know what our main focus is and depend on that only, men lure into that shit. Men love a girl that got shit doin for her on a daily. Got plans and goals everyday and still manage to find sometime to spend time with their man. Be that girl.
But in the end, YOUR TOP PRIORITY WOULD BE: Make yourself happy. Don't depend on someone else to fulfill how you feel to make you're day. We as individual, INDEPENDENT women shouldn't rely on anyone else to make us happy regardless of how much LOVE was involved. By growin up and realizin that, at least you can say you loved, you tried, you gave it your all and you've conquered. We struggle, but its annoying to all men when its all over-exaggerated. Once again, be strong.
Since he couldn't make you happy, just remember there's gona be that one ina million that'll do far and beyond to make you happy. Patience is a virtue. It really is. And I promise you, things are gona start turnin around and it'll all be better soon.
______________________
Its THAT readable.
Focus hard, but love harder.
Be the woman that dont need a man, but know you can get it. Legit.
Be the woman that dont need a man, but know you can get it. Legit.
You've got a life ahead of you.
You've got to close that door to get to another.
You've got to close that door to get to another.
______________________
My niece- "Auntie, does it hurt when a guy breaks your heart ?"
Me- "Not really, but if it happens, just make sure you have a
band-aid handy to heal it and make it all better"
My niece- * Goes to the kitchen to look for a band-aid...*
And she's only 6 years old.
Goodness babygirl, dont grow up too fast on me.
Me- "Not really, but if it happens, just make sure you have a
band-aid handy to heal it and make it all better"
My niece- * Goes to the kitchen to look for a band-aid...*
And she's only 6 years old.
Goodness babygirl, dont grow up too fast on me.
Yummy in my Tummy.
I'M GOIN ON A BAKERY EXTRAVAGANZAAAAA <3
At some point in my life --And I have a feeling that its gona be sometime very soon-- I'm gona recreate alla these. For someone or some event. I wana go to another charity event. They're fun.Lately, I've been thinkin about different careers I could try. Everyday at work, someone always compliments me on my hair, askin me who cuts it and whats their number or where the salon is, and I always tell them the same answer. "The salon is in my bathroom and I cut my own hair" with a big smile on my face. And when I tell em that, they ask for my name and tell me they'll be lookin for my salon next year, or ask for my phone number-- or somethin of the sort. AWKWARD !
So by supportive decision, I could begin a career doin either of these followin things:
- I'm goin to open a hair/nail salon
- Open up a bakery.
- I'm going to be a Child Development Research Analyst.
- A therapist.
- A counselor.
- An insurance Agent.
- A fashion show host.
... god will write your love story.
Just like he's continuing to write mine,
Everyday. Just like he's continuing to write mine,
Never leave the one you love
for the one you like, ever.
"You have officially lost all respect & gratitude from me. You've hurt a woman who I admire, who I respect, who I deeply appreciate. And you fucked it up. With some lowlife bitch that will soon know you're complete story, she'll come to her senses and see what she got herself into and leave you as well. And you've lost everything. Though I may not know everything that happened between you two. I see it in her eyes how she's given up, how hurt she is and how much you've put her through. You pathetic use of a man. You've lost everything you looked forward to, a family, a future and a life. I can't believe you tried to replace, but really you downgraded. You had everything, but you gave it up for someone else, one who can never give you what she gave. But its okaay. You will struggle and definitely, YOU WILL REAP WHAT YOU SOW. You fuck up. Its okay, I know she's gona soon close the door from your pathetic world and open a new one to a paradise she's never seen before. She's got an entire renovation of life to look forward to, you don't. And I hope you realize how much regret you will live with for the rest of your life. This is the life you lived you're entire youth for ? You grew up and wished for a life like this ? Well. It must be one twisted ass life."
"You have officially lost all respect & gratitude from me. You've hurt a woman who I admire, who I respect, who I deeply appreciate. And you fucked it up. With some lowlife bitch that will soon know you're complete story, she'll come to her senses and see what she got herself into and leave you as well. And you've lost everything. Though I may not know everything that happened between you two. I see it in her eyes how she's given up, how hurt she is and how much you've put her through. You pathetic use of a man. You've lost everything you looked forward to, a family, a future and a life. I can't believe you tried to replace, but really you downgraded. You had everything, but you gave it up for someone else, one who can never give you what she gave. But its okaay. You will struggle and definitely, YOU WILL REAP WHAT YOU SOW. You fuck up. Its okay, I know she's gona soon close the door from your pathetic world and open a new one to a paradise she's never seen before. She's got an entire renovation of life to look forward to, you don't. And I hope you realize how much regret you will live with for the rest of your life. This is the life you lived you're entire youth for ? You grew up and wished for a life like this ? Well. It must be one twisted ass life."
Dog on the go.
Okay so we on our way to vallejo right. Just passed dixon and there's hellllaaaaa fuckin traffic. But ! I seen the cutest puppies in the back of someone's truck. I gota new iphone, debatin on a new car, and now. I WANA PUPPY ! My kuya's dog mochi had puppies, but they're keepin both of em :( too bad our roomate prolly won't like the idea of havina dog, but shit. As soon as baby and I move out, thas the first thing im gettin. Whenever im off I always check craigslist to see what kinda doggys they got on there. They be cute man ! Im jealous. Me vahnnnt doggy.
COMMITMENT:
So now, I've come to my senses and have made a personal commitment to takin at least ONE picture everyday of what i'm doin, a nice view or of somethin funny or entertaining. I have a 2G and a 4G memory card. Thas like 15,000+ potentially good picture space.
I shall, I will.
So now, I've come to my senses and have made a personal commitment to takin at least ONE picture everyday of what i'm doin, a nice view or of somethin funny or entertaining. I have a 2G and a 4G memory card. Thas like 15,000+ potentially good picture space.
I shall, I will.
One sweet day.
So today, I went to work. Did normal customer service associate type thangs and realized, "I WANT SOMETHIN NEW" so when I approached my store manager and told her how my raise didn't get added to my paycheck, I calculated how much they owe me and its about $50-60. Thas like a new jacket or some shoes, maybe even my herro kitty drivin wheel cover I've been wanting. But I better get my damn money that I worked for. Cheapass bitches. And I get my bonus soon ? :DDDD Ahhhh shiet. Im lookin for a shoppin spree, maybe even a weekend vacation somewhere. Im bouta get my car paperwork done and get it over wid. And prolly buy a new lappytop or somethin (: maybe even take my mom shoppin, dependin on my mood. We'll see.
FML, schoo starts in like two weeks and its like I do wana go, but I don't. But knowin me, I'll prolly end up goin. All summer I've been all about gettin this gouda so I needa re-evaluate my priorities. Which is, SCHOOL.
I can't wait til the holidays cus thas when alla the hours start rollin in. Hella exciting. I remember last year I was comin home wid $500-600 paychecks just bein an associate so im expectin the same for this year as weeell (: Im so moneyhungry, im kinda ponderin the thought of a second job just cus. Two jobs and school ? DZAAAAMMMMN, I'd be the ultimate MIA. But alla this shit is gona be worth it. I know it.
I stay dedicated to what I want.
And all I want is to succeed more than my parents ever imagined. Even tho none of then take part in my life like before anymore, im still triena make them proud so that when they're old and im takin care of em, they can say straight to my face, "Thank you" and appreciate what I did for them for once. I've had no parental supervision and I've never gotten locked up, im not no run around rippa, I don't got no babys runnin around, I grew up ina neighborhood fulla crackheads, drug addicts & pedophiles and I don't do drugs, don't smoke, and barely ever drink-Maybe like once a month if anything, and its mostly when im wid my girls. I NEVER GET DRUNK AT SOME RANDOM FUNCTION. All that, I controlled on my own. My parents ? They should be prouda me. Its sad cus my grandparents ALWAYS tell me how their prouda me. I love my grandparents. They're the best grandparents inda world. But the thing that hurts is that my parents don't even take time outta their day to care. Its all G though, im doin me and im all grown up now. After alla that, I still thank them for raisin a classy ass lady such as myself. Im just hopin one day they'll truly be prouda me. One day.
FML, schoo starts in like two weeks and its like I do wana go, but I don't. But knowin me, I'll prolly end up goin. All summer I've been all about gettin this gouda so I needa re-evaluate my priorities. Which is, SCHOOL.
I can't wait til the holidays cus thas when alla the hours start rollin in. Hella exciting. I remember last year I was comin home wid $500-600 paychecks just bein an associate so im expectin the same for this year as weeell (: Im so moneyhungry, im kinda ponderin the thought of a second job just cus. Two jobs and school ? DZAAAAMMMMN, I'd be the ultimate MIA. But alla this shit is gona be worth it. I know it.
I stay dedicated to what I want.
And all I want is to succeed more than my parents ever imagined. Even tho none of then take part in my life like before anymore, im still triena make them proud so that when they're old and im takin care of em, they can say straight to my face, "Thank you" and appreciate what I did for them for once. I've had no parental supervision and I've never gotten locked up, im not no run around rippa, I don't got no babys runnin around, I grew up ina neighborhood fulla crackheads, drug addicts & pedophiles and I don't do drugs, don't smoke, and barely ever drink-Maybe like once a month if anything, and its mostly when im wid my girls. I NEVER GET DRUNK AT SOME RANDOM FUNCTION. All that, I controlled on my own. My parents ? They should be prouda me. Its sad cus my grandparents ALWAYS tell me how their prouda me. I love my grandparents. They're the best grandparents inda world. But the thing that hurts is that my parents don't even take time outta their day to care. Its all G though, im doin me and im all grown up now. After alla that, I still thank them for raisin a classy ass lady such as myself. Im just hopin one day they'll truly be prouda me. One day.
Bake fun.
They're cupcakes !
Josephine we are makin these during our next bakin session. OUR IDEA ! We'll make a "burger cake" for alla our co-workers so we wont havta make another coworker jealous ever again. And then we shall make rocky road brownies. And THEN, we'll make a layered cake and see how many layers we can get to before gettin bored from baking. Ooooooooooohw, i'm so excited !!!!!
Taken.
I remember, i used to always do these my junior year in highschool. All. the fuckin. time.
--10 Things You Wish You Could Say to 10 Different People Right Now:
1. You're the best thing, that ever happened to me.
2. You're mentally ill, I swear you are. But i love you.
3. You've got mad swag when you're onda dancefloor
4. You're just a sad pathetic bitch.
5. Say it, dont spray it chief.
6. I love you for who you're not instead of who you are.
7. I swear we're gona make the cutest japanese babies ever.
8. Even though I got sick of you so soon, I fuckin miss you.
9. Ewww bitch, put some makeup on that hideous face ! Maybe it'll do you some good for once.
10. Outta all people, I would tell every chapter of my life to you, just cus.
--9 Things People May Not Know About You:
1. I have a birthmark of a star on my belly.
2. I'm the youngest out of 4.
3. I have almost every race of ASIAN in my family.
4. I hate slimy food [e.g octopus, eel, eggplant]
5. I'm a child at heart wid a babywaby voice
6. I love reading.
7. I love shopping, but i'm the pickiest shopper ever.
8. My hair is really wavy and curly.
9. I used to sing in a church choir in Fairfield when I was little.
--8 Ways To Win Your Heart:
1. Feed me.
2. Cook for me.
3. Go grocery shopping wid me.
4. Give me hugs.
5. Sing to me.
6. Make me laugh when i'm sad.
7. Surprise me when least expected.
8. Take lots and lots of pictures wid me for my lifetime photo album.
--7 Things That Cross Your Mind A Lot:
1. Money
2. My nephews Kyle and Dillon.
3. Baby.
4. Food.
5. Dying
6. "I need to clean..."
7. Sex.
--6 Things You Do Before You Fall Asleep (not in order):
1. Shower or body shower.
2. Get a glass of water.
3. Brush my teeffff.
4. Send Goodnight text msgs to my bestfriends.
5. Set an alarm.
6. Read CNN. com
--5 Characteristics You Value:
1. The way you smile at me.
2. The respect you give.
3. The loyalty we have.
4. The trust we give.
5. The humor in you.
--4 Songs to Describe Your Life:
1. Superstar-Cherish.
2. She got her own- Fab & Neyo.
3. Sexylove- Neyo
4. Dont change- Musiq soulchild.
--3 Things You Wish You Never Did:
1. Given you the best of me.
2. Told you things I didnt mean.
3. Trusted you.
--2 Things You Want to Do Before You Die:
1. Have a family.
2. Earn a million dollars doin absolutely nothing.
--1 Confession:
1. You may not know it, but I deeply and honestly appreciate you.
--10 Things You Wish You Could Say to 10 Different People Right Now:
1. You're the best thing, that ever happened to me.
2. You're mentally ill, I swear you are. But i love you.
3. You've got mad swag when you're onda dancefloor
4. You're just a sad pathetic bitch.
5. Say it, dont spray it chief.
6. I love you for who you're not instead of who you are.
7. I swear we're gona make the cutest japanese babies ever.
8. Even though I got sick of you so soon, I fuckin miss you.
9. Ewww bitch, put some makeup on that hideous face ! Maybe it'll do you some good for once.
10. Outta all people, I would tell every chapter of my life to you, just cus.
--9 Things People May Not Know About You:
1. I have a birthmark of a star on my belly.
2. I'm the youngest out of 4.
3. I have almost every race of ASIAN in my family.
4. I hate slimy food [e.g octopus, eel, eggplant]
5. I'm a child at heart wid a babywaby voice
6. I love reading.
7. I love shopping, but i'm the pickiest shopper ever.
8. My hair is really wavy and curly.
9. I used to sing in a church choir in Fairfield when I was little.
--8 Ways To Win Your Heart:
1. Feed me.
2. Cook for me.
3. Go grocery shopping wid me.
4. Give me hugs.
5. Sing to me.
6. Make me laugh when i'm sad.
7. Surprise me when least expected.
8. Take lots and lots of pictures wid me for my lifetime photo album.
--7 Things That Cross Your Mind A Lot:
1. Money
2. My nephews Kyle and Dillon.
3. Baby.
4. Food.
5. Dying
6. "I need to clean..."
7. Sex.
--6 Things You Do Before You Fall Asleep (not in order):
1. Shower or body shower.
2. Get a glass of water.
3. Brush my teeffff.
4. Send Goodnight text msgs to my bestfriends.
5. Set an alarm.
6. Read CNN. com
--5 Characteristics You Value:
1. The way you smile at me.
2. The respect you give.
3. The loyalty we have.
4. The trust we give.
5. The humor in you.
--4 Songs to Describe Your Life:
1. Superstar-Cherish.
2. She got her own- Fab & Neyo.
3. Sexylove- Neyo
4. Dont change- Musiq soulchild.
--3 Things You Wish You Never Did:
1. Given you the best of me.
2. Told you things I didnt mean.
3. Trusted you.
--2 Things You Want to Do Before You Die:
1. Have a family.
2. Earn a million dollars doin absolutely nothing.
--1 Confession:
1. You may not know it, but I deeply and honestly appreciate you.
Lets take it slow...
Okaay, so last wednesday was my last official day as bein a Manager at Old Navy.
...And it felt fuckin great.
Cus then ima get treated like a normal associate or in my case, I'm just a normal cash handler now. Nomore extra expectations. Nomore hearin the problems of the store. Nomore goin an extra mile to help the leadership team just cus someone else didnt finish their fuckin job during their shift. Nomore stressin. Nomore hearin the bitchin from the other leadership members about how someone else is hella slackin and alla that. I needed the break away from it cus there was a point where it got too intense to the point where I stressed so hard, I had to go to the office and cry like a baby for a good 5 min to take it all out. YES, it got that bad. I swear workin in retail is fuckin tough when your store is triena make it to the top. Esp when the district manager is triena help you make it to the top, by givin you hella priorities in a certain amounta hours. All summer, I dedicated my time to helpin out the store to get back on track. But damn, i'm not gona lie. It was a coo experience given to learn the ropes of how it feels to be a boss. I was the youngest Manager tellin people older -and taller- than me what to do and helpin them to get things done. Its all about compromise and support. I swear it is. Well, thas what I learned.
But its funny cus the store manager told me yesterday as I gave her my keys, that she might still be needin my help in doin certain things in leadership still. Cus "she cant rely on anyone like she can towards me" hahaha. Nah its just that she saw someone who worked their ass off for the first time rather than lookin at alla the other lazy ass employees in that building. I swear I went beyond and far for the company. Thas why she referred me to a Service and Training Manager position at another store. She thought I'd be perfect for the position. Seein that my passion was to help customers and train associates. [I loved that shit. I love bein able to pull an associate into my office and lettin them know what they needa improve on and what they needed to do to get there. And the next day after, they improved quick due to my motivational speech. Before, they used to insult the associates, tellin them they NEED to do better. Not me, I'd never downtalk an associate. I motivated hella workers and thas how we got better results when I was a manager. And the store manager was impresssed] BUT, the store manager at the other store felt I was too young and she wanted someone with more experience seein that I was only a manager for three months. Whatever though, her store sucked and didnt have shit on our store at allllll. So for now, ima just stick it out. Ima go back to schoo like I said I would. Ima do what I needa do to get where I wana be.
It just sucked cus I've never been so MIA in my life. I've never been so exhausted from a job or never spent so much time at a job. Even when I had three jobs last summer when I worked at Banana Republic, Footaction and at the Tutoring center. I was still goin out and kickin it almost everynight wid my girls and whatnot. -Weell, I think its cus I live in sac now.
Things have changed.
Change is always good.
...And it felt fuckin great.
Cus then ima get treated like a normal associate or in my case, I'm just a normal cash handler now. Nomore extra expectations. Nomore hearin the problems of the store. Nomore goin an extra mile to help the leadership team just cus someone else didnt finish their fuckin job during their shift. Nomore stressin. Nomore hearin the bitchin from the other leadership members about how someone else is hella slackin and alla that. I needed the break away from it cus there was a point where it got too intense to the point where I stressed so hard, I had to go to the office and cry like a baby for a good 5 min to take it all out. YES, it got that bad. I swear workin in retail is fuckin tough when your store is triena make it to the top. Esp when the district manager is triena help you make it to the top, by givin you hella priorities in a certain amounta hours. All summer, I dedicated my time to helpin out the store to get back on track. But damn, i'm not gona lie. It was a coo experience given to learn the ropes of how it feels to be a boss. I was the youngest Manager tellin people older -and taller- than me what to do and helpin them to get things done. Its all about compromise and support. I swear it is. Well, thas what I learned.
But its funny cus the store manager told me yesterday as I gave her my keys, that she might still be needin my help in doin certain things in leadership still. Cus "she cant rely on anyone like she can towards me" hahaha. Nah its just that she saw someone who worked their ass off for the first time rather than lookin at alla the other lazy ass employees in that building. I swear I went beyond and far for the company. Thas why she referred me to a Service and Training Manager position at another store. She thought I'd be perfect for the position. Seein that my passion was to help customers and train associates. [I loved that shit. I love bein able to pull an associate into my office and lettin them know what they needa improve on and what they needed to do to get there. And the next day after, they improved quick due to my motivational speech. Before, they used to insult the associates, tellin them they NEED to do better. Not me, I'd never downtalk an associate. I motivated hella workers and thas how we got better results when I was a manager. And the store manager was impresssed] BUT, the store manager at the other store felt I was too young and she wanted someone with more experience seein that I was only a manager for three months. Whatever though, her store sucked and didnt have shit on our store at allllll. So for now, ima just stick it out. Ima go back to schoo like I said I would. Ima do what I needa do to get where I wana be.
It just sucked cus I've never been so MIA in my life. I've never been so exhausted from a job or never spent so much time at a job. Even when I had three jobs last summer when I worked at Banana Republic, Footaction and at the Tutoring center. I was still goin out and kickin it almost everynight wid my girls and whatnot. -Weell, I think its cus I live in sac now.
Things have changed.
Change is always good.
No cop, no stop.
I fuckin hate stop signs. Hahahahahah, anyways ! I just got home from josephine's lil kickit thang. It was a coo little kickit, I was takin care of niggas I didnt even know just cus I was triena have these nigga respect my girls house. Shit, I swear the more people drink, the more they dont realize how loud they are. Hahah, at brians party I know I was drunk and I know everyone AND I was hella loud, but then again thas why I was hella regulatin at Brian's party. Its coo though ! We all young bucks so its all G. But anyways, i came home huungry and baby got me some buffalo wings and we headed to the room. And since Bdaddy's playin SFIV i decided to blog to occupy my time before I go to sleep. Hahaha, i love comin home and baby comes to the door, smilin at me wid that face. That face that makes you feel complete comfort. The kinda face that a little boy would give to their mommy when they've been gone for an entire day at work or something. Thas the face brian gives me. And especially his bear hug, MMMMM. *sigh. Baby knows i be hella feelin him, cus this fool be havin hella swag onda inside that he dont show nobody, its just faaa me. Its hella funny though cus I took my bra off--girls, you know you should NOT be wearin bra's when you're at home though. Its bad for you! -- and then I put it on top of his head. I was hella dyyyyin ! It hella made me think about that boob head dude from Little Nicky. Hahahah, hella bomb.
Man though, I had a terrible dream last night. I had a dream that it was our anniversary right and we were goin on an overpass but when we were lookin towards the houses from afar, we hella saw a UFO ! hahahaha, wtfuck. And so we smashed to the house and tried to get whatever we could and whatever we needed out the house. Alla the sudden alla his friends come through and they're tellin us that the aliens are triena take over the world ! Hahahahah. So then for some reason, the only thing I wanted to save [outta alla my possessions] was the pictures that brian and I took. I had it all ina box and for some reason I couldnt find the box for hella long. But when I finally did everyone was hella panicking and was hoppin in cars and shit. But Brian went ina different car and I was ina car wid alla my girls. We smashed and then alla the sudden, we went separate ways and for hella long we lost the other car but we were just triena get the fuck outta the town. And all I remember sayin in my dream was, "Brian's gone, he left me." and then I woke up and was heeeella trippin :( I hella flinched and shit cus I was hella scared from the dream ! But as I woke up, Brian hella turned over and put his arms over me and kissed me. OMG, I was so relieved. I sat up, looked around and layed back down into the arms of the love of my life. I swear, at that moment, I realized no matter what situation i fall into, Brian's there. Supportin me, calmin my nerves, genuinely lovin me and bein my bestfriend, my love, my soulmate, my everything. I'm so damn blessed. Blessin as in, i just got paid about three hours ago. I love direct deposit. Cus then all I gota wait for is that tuesday and then for midnight to hit so when I check my account, I either got three or four digits in my account-- depending on what bills I gota pay hahaha
Man though, I had a terrible dream last night. I had a dream that it was our anniversary right and we were goin on an overpass but when we were lookin towards the houses from afar, we hella saw a UFO ! hahahaha, wtfuck. And so we smashed to the house and tried to get whatever we could and whatever we needed out the house. Alla the sudden alla his friends come through and they're tellin us that the aliens are triena take over the world ! Hahahahah. So then for some reason, the only thing I wanted to save [outta alla my possessions] was the pictures that brian and I took. I had it all ina box and for some reason I couldnt find the box for hella long. But when I finally did everyone was hella panicking and was hoppin in cars and shit. But Brian went ina different car and I was ina car wid alla my girls. We smashed and then alla the sudden, we went separate ways and for hella long we lost the other car but we were just triena get the fuck outta the town. And all I remember sayin in my dream was, "Brian's gone, he left me." and then I woke up and was heeeella trippin :( I hella flinched and shit cus I was hella scared from the dream ! But as I woke up, Brian hella turned over and put his arms over me and kissed me. OMG, I was so relieved. I sat up, looked around and layed back down into the arms of the love of my life. I swear, at that moment, I realized no matter what situation i fall into, Brian's there. Supportin me, calmin my nerves, genuinely lovin me and bein my bestfriend, my love, my soulmate, my everything. I'm so damn blessed. Blessin as in, i just got paid about three hours ago. I love direct deposit. Cus then all I gota wait for is that tuesday and then for midnight to hit so when I check my account, I either got three or four digits in my account-- depending on what bills I gota pay hahaha
$,$$$ or $$$ !
Yeah thas right, ya girl got it like THAT.
Yeah thas right, ya girl got it like THAT.
FYI
“If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away. If he doesn’t want you, nothing can make him stay. Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior. Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache. Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that’s not meant to be. Slower is better. Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy. If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no, you can’t “be friends”. A friend wouldn’t mistreat a friend. Don’t settle. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is. Don’t stay because you think “it will get better.” You’ll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better. The only person you can control in a relationship is you. Avoid men who’ve got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women. He didn’t marry them when he got them pregnant, why would he treat you any differently? Always have your own set of friends separate from his. Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you. If something bothers you, speak up. Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later. You cannot change a man’s behavior. Change comes from within. Don’t EVER make him feel he is more important than you are… even if he has more education or in a better job. Do not make him into a quasi-god. He is a man, nothing more nothing less. Never let a man define who you are. Never borrow someone else’s man. If he cheated with you, he’ll cheat on you. A man will only treat you the way you allow him to treat you. All men are NOT dogs. You should not be the one doing all the bendin, compromise is two way street. You need time to heal between relationships, there is nothing cute about baggage. Deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship. You should never look for someone to complete you, a relationship consists of two whole individuals, look for someone complimentary not supplementary. Dating is fun, even if he doesn’t turn out to be Mr. Right. Make him miss you sometimes, when a man always knows where you are, and you’re always readily available to him - he takes it for granted. Never move into his mother’s house. Never co-sign for a man. Don’t fully commit to a man who doesn’t give you everything that you need. Keep him in your radar but get to know others. They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them and an entire lifetime to forget them.”
-Oprah Winfrey
-Oprah Winfrey
YOUNG LOVE.
"Since we aint 21. They be triena say it aint love. Cus we cant hit the clubs, they be triena say we're too young. I aint sayin that we're triena be grown. I'm just sayin that we're old enough to know, we got that, young love, young love, we lucky cus we got that young love."
Summer Fallin.
So summer's almost over. AND NO, I'M NOT READY. I mean, yeah I wana go back to schoo. But that just adds another thing on my list thats gona take up more of my time. Spent most of the summer kickin it. I dont find myself gettin into that many thangs like I did last year and the year before. I'm becomin more chill and shit rather than bein the outgoing gal of the pahhhty. And to be completely honest ? I love it. I love that I got shit to do rather than throwin my time away to some stupid function that I prolly didnt even wana go to inda first place. I love that I occupy my time wid time consuming shit thas worth my time. Like, working, sleeping, eating, cleaning, spendin time wid my selected few & gettin PAID$$$. Yeah, life is limited and I should be livin it up, but inda end i'd be happier knowin that I put in more effort in bein successful in life rather than lookin like a drunky or a partygirl. I got my goals and the right mindset so i'm good. But then I know things change and nothings for sure. But, I let god write my lovestory, even if its just some crazy lifestyle. Its a crazy lifestyle that I live to die for.
Really went to Superwalmart while baby was in Vallejo and made him a cuppycake. Well, we tried at least. But its okaaaay ! Next thing on my list, is to make a layered cake :) OR rockyroad brownies. The damn goldfish were supposed to say 22- for 22 months, happy anniversary baby. But josephine left the damn hole inda middle ! hahahahaha, nah its coo tho. It came out legit. And tasted fuckin fabulous. I'm think i'm gettin used to Sac. I'm settled here & realizing that bein out here was best for me rather than bein inda citylife and in the "hype" -fuck the hype btw.
PS- I dont think I'll never get sick of flowers in my favorite color. NEVER. You'll see these at my wedding. Trust that.
Pretty little missile.
So today was my day off. THANK YOU LORD JESUS. And I really didn't do anything. I woke up late, for once ina very long time, and just chilled at home. Rejuvinating myself and refreshin my mind of what was stressin me out for the past few days. I redid my eyebrows, trimmed my hair, got my naaails did and my toesies =) I even dusted my room. WHAT. THE. FUCK. Hahaha !
Majority of the time I was on youtube slappin Erika David's "In my heels" single. Cus the beat and background was cute as fuck. While that was tainted in the background of my day, I did my hair and even slipped in some time to do some online shoppin. OFCOURSE I DIDN'T BUY ANYTHING cus ya girl just paid some bills but when I do got money to throw, I already got my list of needs whenever i do have the chance to take myself ona shopping spree. Which i'm hopin is gona be vewy soon, cus after alla the hardwork i put myself through this summer, i know i deserve it. hardworkin mama, hardworkin at workin hard. hahahaha (: tehehehe.
Baby came home hungry and had a smile fulla romance so I baked him some pizza that we bought at wall-e world [walmart] haha. Josephine calls me and tells me her, marben and loraine were comin through. And damn, its been a minute since I saw loraine. We had hella to update eachother wid though. And maaan, the whole time all you heard was me and her updatin bout hella shit. Talkin to her made me realize how young I am, yet how much I've achieved and been through. Me and her have been through some tough ass situations when we were witto babies in highschoo, ditchin periods to do absolutely nothin and we're so young ! Goodness gracious. What is the world comin to ? She told me bout her marriage life and damn, it made me realize how happy I am to be wid brian who genuinely loves me for who I am. AGAIN, THANK YOU LORD JESUS. I'm blessed. Which is why im not stressed, for now. Im relieved at the moment and just waitin for anotha challenge to face. BECAUSE I KNOW I CAN GET THROUGH IT.
"Fall down 7 times,
get back up 8."
PS- I love latenight 3am talks. Thas the bidniz.
Majority of the time I was on youtube slappin Erika David's "In my heels" single. Cus the beat and background was cute as fuck. While that was tainted in the background of my day, I did my hair and even slipped in some time to do some online shoppin. OFCOURSE I DIDN'T BUY ANYTHING cus ya girl just paid some bills but when I do got money to throw, I already got my list of needs whenever i do have the chance to take myself ona shopping spree. Which i'm hopin is gona be vewy soon, cus after alla the hardwork i put myself through this summer, i know i deserve it. hardworkin mama, hardworkin at workin hard. hahahaha (: tehehehe.
Baby came home hungry and had a smile fulla romance so I baked him some pizza that we bought at wall-e world [walmart] haha. Josephine calls me and tells me her, marben and loraine were comin through. And damn, its been a minute since I saw loraine. We had hella to update eachother wid though. And maaan, the whole time all you heard was me and her updatin bout hella shit. Talkin to her made me realize how young I am, yet how much I've achieved and been through. Me and her have been through some tough ass situations when we were witto babies in highschoo, ditchin periods to do absolutely nothin and we're so young ! Goodness gracious. What is the world comin to ? She told me bout her marriage life and damn, it made me realize how happy I am to be wid brian who genuinely loves me for who I am. AGAIN, THANK YOU LORD JESUS. I'm blessed. Which is why im not stressed, for now. Im relieved at the moment and just waitin for anotha challenge to face. BECAUSE I KNOW I CAN GET THROUGH IT.
"Fall down 7 times,
get back up 8."
PS- I love latenight 3am talks. Thas the bidniz.
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